Assalamualaikum wbt
Okay, this is actually an outdated post. dah sangat lama tulis ni (masa awal-awal discovered my pregnancy) tapi tak habis. I thought it is worth finishing and posting it since we are about to start our TTC journey again, insyaAllah.
so here is the real post
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The day I discovered that there is a little soul growing in my tummy, terus teringat my parents and my in laws. I was so excited to break the news to them. As the first daughter yang get married in the family, dan menantu sulung in my in law's family, I was always hoping that I could someday give my parents and my parents in laws cucu-cucu. Alhamdulillah finally Allah has given me the chance.
I have a beautiful and kind hearted mother in law. sepanjang almost three years I have been married to his eldest son, tak pernah sekali pon Ma bertanya tentang apa-apa sahaja yang berkaitan dengan me being pregnant walaupon deep down inside I know both my in laws memang teringin sangat nak cucu. About 5 month ago, my adik ipar got pregnant tapi not even once Ma mention about this to me. Dapat tahu about my SIL pregnancy pon by agak-agak je..hehe..
The day me and husband decided to break the news to my MIL that we are expecting a new member in the family, Subhanallah Ma was so happy, alhamdulillah. That was when Ma told me that she never talked to me about this matter because she believed that Allah will give to us when the time is right, so we should patiently wait and keep praying for the best.
Yes memang betul..Allah knows best. Memang rasa tempoh 3 years menunggu tu agak panjang, kadang-kadang terasa lelah menanti dan berusaha, astaghfirullahalazim. betapa lemahnya diri kan. Tapi bila difikirkan semula memang perancangan Allah tiada cacat celanya. Maha suci Allah yang Maha Mengetahui
Looking back at the past three years. Allah bagi kami suami isteri honeymoon lama sikit. Mungkin untuk sesi suai kenal sebelum memikul tanggungjawab yang jauh lagi besar. Me and husband tak pernah saling mengenali before getting married. Ni serius punya tak kenal. Memang tak pernah jumpa atau dengar suara. Berhubung pon only through emails bila terlalu perlu which is setiap email memang pendek-pendek just untuk selesaikan apa yang patut. Dua-dua pon memang dari latar belakang yang sangat jauh berbeza, lifestyle berbeza. To be honest memang it took me sometime to get used to living with my husband. To be at the point we are now which is we can accept each other's weakness and lebih mudah untu berbincang about apa-apa that we have in mind and walaupon we still do have misundertanding once a while tapi it is so much better compared to the early days of our marriage. Plus, all the things that we went through to conceived memang sangat berharga. All those time we went through together are so meaningful to us and I believed it made us so much close to each other and also to Allah SWT. So, alhamdulillah for the time :)
Then, bila ingat balik how busy my husband was back in Holland and in JB memang rasa semuanya ada hikmah sangat. My husband was so busy with his study and I was trying my best to support him setakat termampu. His days mostly spent in his university dan selalunya sampai lewat malam and sometimes I would also be there to bring him some things to eat and to accompany him. Tipu la kalau tak teringin nak merasa having a baby and raising him/her in Holland but memang waktu tu was quite a stressful time for us. Jadi bila kadang-kadang orang cakap alahai Hanan lambat sangat keluar, tak merasa jadi orang Dutch I usually just smile and said Allah knows best :)
Whatever it is, lets just try to trust Allah plans. Dia yang cipta kita kan, He nows whats best for us. Tapi that doesnt mean we have to stop trying and hoping.
Till then, insyaAllah
May Allah Bless~
