"Janganlah kamu bersikap lemah , dan janganlah pula kamu bersedih hati, padahal kamu orang yang paling tinggi darjatnya jika kamu orang-orang yang beriman"[Al-Imran:139]

Monday, October 9, 2017

When the time is right..

Assalamualaikum wbt

Okay, this is actually an outdated post. dah sangat lama tulis ni (masa awal-awal discovered my pregnancy) tapi tak habis. I thought it is worth finishing and posting it since we are about to start our TTC journey again, insyaAllah.

so here is the real post

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The day I discovered that there is a little soul growing in my tummy, terus teringat my parents and my in laws. I was so excited to break the news to them. As the first daughter yang get married in the family, dan menantu sulung in my in law's family, I was always hoping that I could someday give my parents and my parents in laws cucu-cucu. Alhamdulillah finally Allah has given me the chance.

I have a beautiful and kind hearted mother in law. sepanjang almost three years I have been married to his eldest son, tak pernah sekali pon Ma bertanya tentang apa-apa sahaja yang berkaitan dengan me being pregnant walaupon deep down inside I know both my in laws memang teringin sangat nak cucu. About 5 month ago, my adik ipar got pregnant tapi not even once Ma mention about this to me. Dapat tahu about my SIL pregnancy pon by agak-agak je..hehe..

The day me and husband decided to break the news to my MIL that we are expecting a new member in the family, Subhanallah Ma was so happy, alhamdulillah. That was when Ma told me that she never talked to me about this matter because she believed that Allah will give to us when the time is right, so we should patiently wait and keep praying for the best.

Yes memang betul..Allah knows best. Memang rasa tempoh 3 years menunggu tu agak panjang, kadang-kadang terasa lelah menanti dan berusaha, astaghfirullahalazim. betapa lemahnya diri kan. Tapi bila difikirkan semula memang perancangan Allah tiada cacat celanya. Maha suci Allah yang Maha Mengetahui

Looking back at the past three years. Allah bagi kami suami isteri honeymoon lama sikit. Mungkin untuk sesi suai kenal sebelum memikul tanggungjawab yang jauh lagi besar. Me and husband tak pernah saling mengenali before getting married. Ni serius punya tak kenal. Memang tak pernah jumpa atau dengar suara. Berhubung pon only through emails bila terlalu perlu which is setiap email memang pendek-pendek just untuk selesaikan apa yang patut. Dua-dua pon memang dari latar belakang yang sangat jauh berbeza, lifestyle berbeza. To be honest memang it took me sometime to get used to living with my husband. To be at the point we are now which is we can accept each other's weakness and  lebih mudah untu berbincang about apa-apa that we have in mind and walaupon we still do have misundertanding once a while tapi it is so much better compared to the early days of our marriage. Plus, all the things that we went through to conceived memang sangat berharga. All those time we went through together are so meaningful to us and I believed it made us so much close to each other and also to Allah SWT.  So, alhamdulillah for the time :)

Then, bila ingat balik how busy my husband was back in Holland and in JB memang rasa semuanya ada hikmah sangat. My husband was so busy with his study and I was trying my best to support him setakat termampu. His days mostly spent in his university dan selalunya sampai lewat malam and sometimes I would also be there to bring him some things to eat and to accompany him. Tipu la kalau tak teringin nak merasa having a baby and raising him/her in Holland but memang waktu tu was quite a stressful time for us. Jadi bila kadang-kadang orang cakap alahai Hanan lambat sangat keluar, tak merasa jadi orang Dutch I usually just smile and said Allah knows best :)

Whatever it is, lets just try to trust Allah plans. Dia yang cipta kita kan, He nows whats best for us. Tapi that doesnt mean we have to stop trying and hoping.

Till then, insyaAllah

May Allah Bless~

Friday, August 4, 2017

A come back?

Assalamualaikum wbt

Wow its been more than a year and a half since my last post. I've been wanting to write since Hanan was born (Yes our dear little angel was named Hanan). Theres so many things that I wanted to write. Of course most f it is about Hanan. The mom in me said that i should stop making excuses and starts writing. I mean i wanted to remember and cherish every moment with Hanan but I doesnt seems to remember exactly when did Hanan's first teeth comes out or when did she had her first step and everything else. I'm sooo getting old...haha. So i hope that i will be able to jot down here Hanan's development from time to time, my thoughts, feelings and experience in parenting and life and any kind of reminders for me as a servant of Allah, a mom, wife, daughter, siblings etc... And of course hopefully i could improve my writing skill by writing here. Rasa macam dah berkarat otak since duduk dekat rumah which is not good sebab i really wanted to be a stay at home mom yang active, knowledgeable, independent and has a lot skills.

So, bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Moga Allah mudahkan semua urusan to actively write here dan may it be something that will gives a lot of benefits in whatever way,insyaAllah.

Till then,

May Allah Bless~

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Pregnancy Diary: Overdue

Assalamualaikum wbt

Today i am 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Memang nervous dan berdebar je sentiasa menanti baby bagi signals untuk keluar. But alhamdulillah, i made it this far. All praise be to Allah.

Up to now, i have gained 20kg. Bayangkan la betapa besarnya and heavy i am. Jalan pon dah tak berapa stabil dah..heh. My tummy was super big since 8 bulan lagi. Kaki pon dah teramat sangat sembab. Semua orang around me especially makcik-makcik and nenek-nenek said that i will be giving birth earlier than the due date. Sebab perut sangat besar dan turun ke bawah. however, here i am, still pregnant..huhu

Sehari sebelum due date adalah hari terakhir appoinment di klinik kesihatan ibu dan anak. Doctor scan baby untuk tengok keadaan baby. Alhamdulillah, baby is doing good. On that day baby weigh around 2.9kg. Semoga baby tak membesar dengan banyak sangat sebelum keluar. Takut jugak nanti baby susah nak keluar sebab besar sangat.

Hari appoinment tu jugak nurse ada buat CTG. Sebelum ni baca tentang ctg melalui blog orang lain dan akhirnya I get to experienced it sendiri. Alhamdulillah the CTG is showing that the baby's heart beat is fine.

Memandangkan saya tidak mengalami sebarang masalah ketika hamil seperti high blood pressure atau kencing manis (except for hb low sebab thalasemia) the doctor bagi chance seminggu lagi lepas due date untuk baby keluar dengan sendiri. In case lepas seminggu masih tiada tanda-tanda nak bersalin, haruslah serah diri ke hospital. Since my due date is on 21 December, jadi saya harus serah diri pada 27 December kalau belum bersalin lagi. However, i am praying hard that baby akan keluar secara natural yang mungkin dan dijauhkan dari perlu di induce atau di operate.May Allah make everything ease,insyaAllah.

WhatSoEva~ being overdue is so not fun. asyik berdebar-debar dan ternanti - nanti. Everyone kept asking baby dah keluar belum. However, Allah knows best when is the right time untuk baby keluar ke dunia. Only to Him saya berserah. Moga semua baik-baik saja. Sementara baby keluar lets enjoy the pregnancy journey dan rnjoying masa berdua..heee

Till then insyaAllah,

May Allah Bless~

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Pregancy Diary: Braxton Hicks

Assalamualaikum wbt

Braxton Hicks or also known as False contraction selalunya akan dirasai oleh ibu mengandung bila masuk final trimester. Tapi bergantung kepada orang jugak. Ada juga yang tak mengalami braxton hicks, ad juga yang rasa pada skala yang kecil means rasa contraction tu tak kuat dan ada jugak yang rasa pada skala yang lebih tinggi. No matter what, the pain tak boleh lawan rasa contraction yang sebenar. Certain people panggil braxton Hicks as contraction practice sebab ibu-ibu dapat gambaran lebih kurang how the real contraction will be.

Minggu lepas,during my 30th week..buat pertama kalinya I experienced Braxton Hicks. Sepanjang mingu tersebut I wasnt feeling very well. I was having flu and a super bad headache. Memang sangat tak selesa. On friday me ad husband decided to spend our weekend at our house di jeli je instead of balik rumah MIL in Tumpat. Malas rasa nak travel jauh-jauh dengan keadaan yang tak selesa ni tapi dah beritahu Mr Husband that I wanted to go to the Pasar pagi untuk beli barang dapur. Husband mula-mula tak benarkan since I wasnt in a very god condition tapi saya nak juga ikut sekali sebab rasanya saya perlu kluar sebab dah seminggu terperuk dalm rumah. I need some fresh air (walaupon tgh jerebu) Mngkin boleh kurangkan sedikit rasa sakit kepala.

I made husband his roti telur for breakfast and I had roti dengan peanut butter sekadar nak alas perut sebab tekak rasa sangat pahit, semua makanan rasa tak sedap. Semalam pon, the whole day I only had a few pieces of bread. While having our breakfast,tiba-tiba saya rasa perut sangat sakit. Memulas-mulas. Beberapa kali berulang alik ke toilet tp end up dengan tak membuang apa-apa pon. Perut semakin sakit. Duduk tak kena, berdiri tak kena,baring pon ak kena. Husband sapukan minyak mestika in case dapat legakan rasa sakit tapi memang tak membantu langsung. Still rasa sangat sakit.Then husband cakap sakit mungkin sebab I havent eaten anything heavy since yesterday. So husband pon keluar untuk cari nasi. So  I was alone dekat rumah cuba tahan sakit. I was worried apa-apa jadi pada baby tapi since baby bergerak dengan sangat aktif rasa lega sikit. Ada jugak terdetik dalam hati, baby dah nak keluar ke? Can't be sebab baru 30 minggu. Kebetulan plak that week a few kawan-kawan dalam group PCOSers Malaysia kongiskan berita sedih tentang kehilangan baby mereka dalam perut atau air ketuban pecah awal around 34-36 weeks.. (moga Allah beri ganti yang lebih baik buat mereka dan beri ketabahan...Hugsss untuk mereka I can just feel the pain..sobsss). I keep on praying supaya Allah lindungi my baby..semoga semua baik-baik aje, dijauhkan dari perkara yang tak diingini. Dalam setengah jam kemudian, rasa sakit tu makin berkurang.alhamdulillah. Rasa lega yang teramat sangat. bila dah rasa much better terus ambil phone dan search kot ada bloggers yang ada pengalaman  rasa sakit yang sama. rupa-rupanya what I just went through tu adalah Braxton Hicks.Memang tak terlintas pon di kepala masa sakit tadi walupon dah beberapa kali terbaca tentang Braxton Hicks ni. Alhamdulillah, at least saya tahu macam mana rasa Braxton Hicks ni dan cuba preparekan diri incase dia menyerang lagi atau the real contracton datang nanti. May Allah make everything ease insyaAllah.

Till then, insyaAllah

May Allah Bless~



Thursday, October 1, 2015

Pregnancy diary: Fasa terakhir (Third Trimester)

Assalamualaikum wbt

Alhamdulillah.alhamdulillah.alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah The All Mighty.

Macam tak percaya je dah masuk trimester terakhir. Rasa macam cepat je masa berlalu. Sometimes rasa nak cepat-cepat je deliver baby sebab asyik risau je keadaan baby dan I just can't wait to see my little precious. Tapi kadang-kadang I just dont want time to fly so fast sebab I wanted to enjoy the pregnancy journey which I will definitely miss nanti. Apa-apa pon yang paling penting baby is doing fine,insyaAllah

Up to now ive gain more than 10kg..sangat OMG ok. I feel so heavy. Semua bahagian badan pon tiba-tiba mengembang. Perut pon terasa sangat besar. How amazing our belly boleh stretch sampai macamtu..hehe Nurse dan doctors semua sangat risau dengan my weight gain. tambah pula dengan kaki yang sembab macam dah almost 9 month pregnancy. Disebabkan itu the doctor asked me to repeat minum air gula which makes my 4th time minum air gula. Sesiapa saja yang dengar that saya dah 4 kali minum air gula mesti sangat kagum dengan ketabahan menahan rasa air gula yang sangat tak sedap.huhuh.. however, Alhamdulillah bacaan gula is fine showing that im not having diabetes. My blood pressure pon ok..ahamdulillah. Hopefully everything will be fine hingga ke akhirnya,insyaAllah.

As for my Hb pula.. A few weeks ago, my Hb drops secara tiba-tiba which causes me untuk kerap rasa nak pitam. On the day I almost fainted  masa tengah solat subuh di masjid I decided that I should go see the doctor walaupon baru je ada appointment dengan doctor the day before. At first the doctor decided untuk transfer darah sebab I was quite weak at that time tapi again setelah berbincang dengan kawan-kawan seperjuangannya, the doctor decided untuk tidak transfer darah lagi since my Blood pressure dan albumin reading is fine. The doctor asked me untuk tingkatan dos pengambilan ubat iberet kepada dua kali sehari. Kena beli stok Iberet banyak-banyak nampaknya. Also Nampaknya kena control dan watch my diet balik la to help increase my Hb. Lets fill the fridge dengan sayur-sayur hijau..huu

Until my 28th week pregnancy ni dr masih belum buat utrasound scan. Bila sembang-sembang dengan mommies yang lain di klinik, rupa-rupanya kalau klinik kerajaan memang mereka akan buat scan on our first appoinment dan on our 32 weeks. Tapi ada juga kawan-kawan yang pergi ke klinik kerajaan tempat lain yang di scan lebih kerap. Bergantung atas klinik tapi yang ditetapkan is on 32 weeks utk scan ke 2.  Lambat pula nak tunggu 32 weeks. Rasa teringin sangat nak tengok baby and how she/he is doing. Jadi, me and husband decided untuk buat scan di klinik swasta next saturday on my 30 weeks. Hopefully baby tak sorok-sorok muka la. Ibu cant wait to see you baby..

Baby have been so active lately. Dah makin banyak bergerak. Mr Husband pon dah dapat rasa baby kicking and he is so excited. I started to have trouble sleeping at night. Walaupon baby banyak bergerak waktu malam, rasanya I have trouble sleeping bukan sebab pergerakan baby tapi sbab I couldnt  find the right position to sleep comfortably. Semua posisi pon rasa tak selesa jadi my night terhabis dengan terpusing-pusing trying to find the right position.

Preparation untuk sambut baby pon masih banyak yang perlu dibuat. Setakat ni me and husband cuma grab bebrapa baju bila ad sales. Barang-barang baby boleh tahan mahalnya. Ibu and abah memang kena banyak berjimat nampaknya. heee But we are so excited to prepare everything for you,baby. May Allah make everhting ease insyaAllah.

Beberapa minggu lagi I will be attending breastfeedng seminar. Cant wait for that. Banyak sangat seminar best-best that  really wanted to attend. Unfortunately semuanya di KL. Moga ada rezeki nanti, insyaAllah.

Oh yeah.. rasanya kurang lagi buat preparation untuk berpantang. Since dah tinggal about 3 bulan je lagi memang I should take hal berpantang ni seriously. Make sure ilmu ada secukupnya dan barang-barang yang diperlukan pon dah ada. I was actually hoping that I could be at my Family's house during my confinement time tapi setelah fikir kan all the pros and cons insyaAllah saya akan berpantang at my In law's kali ni. Since my MIL is working kalau boleh nak cuba kurangkan bebannya so at least I have to have a plan and know what to do.

Okay... Thats the update up to now. Moga Allah mudahkan segalanya, insyaAllah


Till then insyaAllah


May Allah Bless~

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

PrenancyDiary :Preparation

Assalamualaikum wbt

Just to update on our little preparation on entering the parenthood and welcoming a new member of the family.

I am now i my 5th month of pregnancy which means I'm half way of the pregnancy journey already. alhamdulillah. Keep being strong baby. May Allah keep protecting you, insyaAllah.

Me and husband sure is super excited about becoming a parent soon. Tapi deep down inside memang tak dapat dinafikan memang ada rasa nervous and blurry too sometimes. Memang banyak benda yang kami tak tahu about babies and parenting. Knowing that I have so many kekurangan dalam diri, I know I can't just rely dengan ilmu saya yang cetek to enter motherhood. So I really do need to do some readings and listening to talks and other people's experience in order to just get me a little bit ready and get the picture of motherhood and parenting. 

Up to now, here are the few things me and husband been doing as our little preparation

We've been going through the internet on any articles about pregnancy, delivery , babies, parenthood dan kalau ada isu yang kami rasa perlu diperbincangkan, kami akan discuss bersama. Sumber dari internet memang mudah didapati tapi harus di tapis jugak to make sure the info is right. Saya juga cuba untuk spend masa setiap hari untuk baca buku yang berkaitan. Ini antara buku yang dalam proses untuk dihadam. Banyak lagi buku yang sangat menarik tentang pregnancy dan parenting. InsyaAllah kalau ada rezeki boleh pergi cari.


While I am busy reading books focusing on these kind of topics, mr husband preferred to learn more about financial management. For sure nanti bila dah ada baby akan ada perubahan on how we manage our household income. memang kena banyak berbincang macamana nak adjust our budget terkini so that boleh masukkan budget untuk baby. May Allah make everything ease insyaAllah.

Instead of doing some readings, saya sangat berminat nak ikuti seminar atau talk tentang pregnancy, delivery, motherhood and parenting. However setakat ni seminar-seminar sedemikian agak terhad sedikit di Kelantan. Selalunya progam-program sebegini diadakan di Lembah Klang which agak sukar untuk saya pergi buat masa sekarang. Tapi kalau ada yang sangat bagus dan nak sangat pergi may be boleh di adjust untuk ke KL sambil-sambil balik rumah umi abi di salak tinggi, insyaAllah. 

Buat masa sekarang I have registered a half day seminar on breastfeeding in october which will be held in Kota Bharu. walaupon breastfeeding ni known as sesuatu yang comes by nature bila dah jadi ibu, I wanted to get the right info on breastfeeding and really understand about the right way to breastfeed dan learn from other people experience. Moga bermanfaat, insyaAllah. Moga-moga ad rezeki untuk hadir seminar-seminar lain especially on gentle delivery, islamic  parenting and homeschooling, insyaAllah


Masa awal-awal kehamilan, the doctor ada bagitahu that in case baby masih tak keluar on expected due date, mereka kemugkinan besar akan do Czer sebab this baby is considered as precious baby sebab susah to conceived. And that freaked me out. I really wanted to go for natural birth if possible tapi kalau itu yang terbaik then saya akan ikut je. Cuma sebelum hari kejadian haruslah cuba berusaha untuk kearah natural birth. Selain berdoa dan minta Allah mudahkan segalanya, I have been doing some yoga. From my readings, yoga ni bagus as an exercise untuk mudahkan bersalin. Kawan-kawan yang amalkan yoga juga agreed on that. Hopefully ia membantu insyaAllah. Moga ada rezeki untuk join class antenatal dan gentle delivery too.


Since sekarang dah nak masuk 6 bulan pregnancy, we decided that we should start looking and buying barang-barang untuk sambut baby in december nanti, insyaAllah.  Macam ibu to be yang lain, saya juga sangat teruja untuk membeli barang baby. semuanya comel dan sangat menggoda. Tapi husband awal-awal dah pesan kita kena cuba elakkan membazir. Beli apa yang perlu saja. Jangan cuba ikut trend terkini. Okay, insaf sekejap..hehe.. Tapi memang betul,usually parent to be lebih-lebih lagi kalau use to be a TTCian memang akan ada kecenderungan untuk overspend on barangan baby. Memang kena betul-betul plan since barangan baby pon boleh tahan harganya walaupon kecil cinonet.hehe

Untuk elakkan pembaziran, kami list kan barang-barang yang diperlukan. Kami belom lagi tahu jantina anak kami tapi we decided that it does not matter sebab kami rasa its better untuk beli baju dan barangan baby yang boleh dipakai untuk dua-dua jantina, Mana la tahu lepas ni adik-adiknya atau sepupu-sepupu atau saudara-mara pulak nak guna. 

Last two weeks we went to a baby and kids fair di Kota Bharu. MashaAllah I did not know that going to a baby fair is so much more exciting dari pergi Moodrepublik fair. However, baby fair tu tidakla sebesar mana as how we expected it to be.tapi still masih excitied..hehe.. Theres not much thing that we bought. Plan asalnya nak memborong baju sebab katanya you can find baju baby from rm5. Unfortuately kebanyakan baju baby sangat obvious baju baby girl atau baby boy. Tak banyak yang in between. So in the end, we only grab 2 pasang baju dengan  motif elmo and sesame street yang sangat bagus kainnya for rm10 each. Orang pon terlalu ramai dalam dewan yang agak kecil menyebakan kami tak spend to much time di setiap booth. 

Instead of 2 pasang baju tu, we also bought a breastfeeding pump. Pada mulanya, saya rasa saya tidak memerlukan breastpump ini memandangkan I am not working and just staying at home. Tetapi lepas bercakap dengan a few friends dan my mother in law, they suggested me to buy it sebab  i will be needing it bila mengalami bengkak susu. Berdasarkan survey yang saya buat through the internet the pump sold at the fair was quite cheap so we decided to buy it. A solo pump insyaAllah would be enough for a stay at home mom like me. Hopefully its useful, insyaAllah. 



Okay...itu je a few updates on our small preparation...Yang paling penting kena banyak berdoa minta Allah permudahkan segalanya and help us untuk persiapkan diri kami dalam semua segi. May Allah make everything ease insyaAllah.

Till then, 

May Allah Bless~