Assalamualaikum and hye everyone.
Hari tu konon acah-acah nak buat come back and write more often. Often la sangat kan.
Anyway, back to the topic..
Masa zaman remaja, anak dara and muda-mudi dulu I used to love to sleep..haha..I am the kind of type yang selalu tido awal. The only time I stayed up late is bila esok nak exam sebab study last minute 😁. Tapi masa master memang Lena selalu stay up late la sebab setiap masa ada test, assignment, etc etc and Skype dengan Mr Kimi di Delft (eh 😁). Selepas kahwin pun, I rarely stayed up late. Mr kimi pon bukan sejenis suka tidur lewat sebab selalu prefer untuk bangun awal.
However, after being a mom everything changed.. Now, I usually will stay up after putting Hanan to sleep. Walaupon selalunya masa tidurkan Hanan I was like so sleepy and tertidur together with Hanan I will usually woke up again. Ergh so not me..
Its because I need my ME TIME
Walaupon agak penat and I would really love to snuggle in bed by my baby after a long day before Hanan calls for some more milk and cuddles, I mean the bed is so tempting tapi I just need my time alone (or accompanied by Mr Kimi)
I am a stay at home mom. Dari bangun until Hanan sleep everything I do is mostly about house chores and her. Sekarang Hanan only nap once a day around 10 am which I usually used that time to cook for lunch. After that I will be playing with Hanan or do house work together with Hanan, setakat yang termampu la sebab Hanan is super clingy. Of course la, Hanan being just an almost 2 years old girl would not be all nice and polite and behave all day. Everyday I would be facing a 'happy, cheerful then a never stop whining and then cry and wanting ibu by her side all the time' kid. It needs a very high level of patient and calmness to face that.
Everyday I would try to give my best to Hanan. But there are times when I couldn't gives Hanan my 100%. I couldn't remain calm when Hanan annoys or upsets me. I started to raise my voice or even ignore her (sebab tengah cuba sabarkan diri). Selain daripada I was so afraid that Hanan was hurt emotionally because of what I did, it actually gives a really bad effect on me too (I'm hurt emotionally too, pretty bad) sebab I keep regretting what I did to Hanan and feels like a really bad mom and it leads to some sort f depression on me.
At first I thought it was because I feel tired from doing all the housework together with taking care of Hanan. So sometimes I would tell my husband that I dont feel like cooking or I just wanted to rest that day. Tp it doesn't work (But sometimes I really do want an off day from housework, I dont even want to see the kitchen...haha). On that 'kind' of day I usually prefer to do the house work rather than entertaining Hanan. I feel so bad bout that about.
Then I realized I get so stressed because I need sometime to just focus on me. I just need that time alone doing something that has nothing to do with housework or Hanan to recharge my self especially emotionally and spiritually. Alhamdulillah setakat ni Hanan memang sejenis yang tidur awal. Paling lewat pon until 9pm Something (akan terjaga beberapa kali untuk susu) so I get to enjoy my me time awal sikit and doesn't have to sleep too late (kadang-kadang memang terlewat jugak Sebab sayangnya nak lepaskan waktu sendiri ni 😁)
I used to post about how I am always in dilemma between catching up sleep and enjoying my me time and I get quite few feedback that they rather sleep and their me time is with their family. Mula-mula tu rasa macam teruk jugak la, rasa macam selfish sangat. Ye la, staying up late means bangun pagi nanti penat skit la tak berapa nak cergas sangat untuk layan Hanan n Mr kimi. Tapi bila tengok balik yang says they rather sleep is usually a working mom. They went out, met other people, do nothing related to their house during the day and doesn't have to listen to their kids whining the whole day. They are tired and the first thing want to do bila balik is be with their family. So I guess keperluan setiap orang berbeza so memang tak boleh judge.
Bila sebut pasal me time memang kita selalu akan terfikir tentang enjoying coffee alone, tengok movie or read books or going shopping, means something foya-foya to have fun je. Yes very true, seronoknya dapat buat semua tu bila me-time (dapat makan tanpa gangguan is nikmat, window shopping is like a therapy..hehe) tapi for me, me time is much more than that. I need that time alone untuk perbaiki amal ibadat, tahu je la siang-siang hari solat cepat je, nak ambil wudhuk pon ad penunggu, time solat Ada je yang tarik-tarik telekung, kalau Hanan senyap je time solat lagi la risau asyik dok fikir ap dia tengah buat 😅.Dan of course to do many-many things dalam usaha untuk perbaiki diri contoh macam dapat jahit, baca buku, listen to tazkirah, plan for hanan's activities, read al-quran....
Memang rasa ada perubahan skit bila dapat ber me-time. Rasa lebih gembira n tenang walaupon still struggling setiap hari to be a better mom.. I always believe that happy mom will lead to a Happy family, insyaAllah.
Ok penat dah Mrs Kimi rant. Setelah sekian lama post ni tak berkesudahan..hehe
Whatsoever, moga Allah mudahkan semua urusan for me and other moms to be a much better person to our family,insyaAllah.
Till then,
May Allah Bless
Hari tu konon acah-acah nak buat come back and write more often. Often la sangat kan.
Anyway, back to the topic..
Masa zaman remaja, anak dara and muda-mudi dulu I used to love to sleep..haha..I am the kind of type yang selalu tido awal. The only time I stayed up late is bila esok nak exam sebab study last minute 😁. Tapi masa master memang Lena selalu stay up late la sebab setiap masa ada test, assignment, etc etc and Skype dengan Mr Kimi di Delft (eh 😁). Selepas kahwin pun, I rarely stayed up late. Mr kimi pon bukan sejenis suka tidur lewat sebab selalu prefer untuk bangun awal.
However, after being a mom everything changed.. Now, I usually will stay up after putting Hanan to sleep. Walaupon selalunya masa tidurkan Hanan I was like so sleepy and tertidur together with Hanan I will usually woke up again. Ergh so not me..
Its because I need my ME TIME
Walaupon agak penat and I would really love to snuggle in bed by my baby after a long day before Hanan calls for some more milk and cuddles, I mean the bed is so tempting tapi I just need my time alone (or accompanied by Mr Kimi)
I am a stay at home mom. Dari bangun until Hanan sleep everything I do is mostly about house chores and her. Sekarang Hanan only nap once a day around 10 am which I usually used that time to cook for lunch. After that I will be playing with Hanan or do house work together with Hanan, setakat yang termampu la sebab Hanan is super clingy. Of course la, Hanan being just an almost 2 years old girl would not be all nice and polite and behave all day. Everyday I would be facing a 'happy, cheerful then a never stop whining and then cry and wanting ibu by her side all the time' kid. It needs a very high level of patient and calmness to face that.
Everyday I would try to give my best to Hanan. But there are times when I couldn't gives Hanan my 100%. I couldn't remain calm when Hanan annoys or upsets me. I started to raise my voice or even ignore her (sebab tengah cuba sabarkan diri). Selain daripada I was so afraid that Hanan was hurt emotionally because of what I did, it actually gives a really bad effect on me too (I'm hurt emotionally too, pretty bad) sebab I keep regretting what I did to Hanan and feels like a really bad mom and it leads to some sort f depression on me.
At first I thought it was because I feel tired from doing all the housework together with taking care of Hanan. So sometimes I would tell my husband that I dont feel like cooking or I just wanted to rest that day. Tp it doesn't work (But sometimes I really do want an off day from housework, I dont even want to see the kitchen...haha). On that 'kind' of day I usually prefer to do the house work rather than entertaining Hanan. I feel so bad bout that about.
Then I realized I get so stressed because I need sometime to just focus on me. I just need that time alone doing something that has nothing to do with housework or Hanan to recharge my self especially emotionally and spiritually. Alhamdulillah setakat ni Hanan memang sejenis yang tidur awal. Paling lewat pon until 9pm Something (akan terjaga beberapa kali untuk susu) so I get to enjoy my me time awal sikit and doesn't have to sleep too late (kadang-kadang memang terlewat jugak Sebab sayangnya nak lepaskan waktu sendiri ni 😁)
I used to post about how I am always in dilemma between catching up sleep and enjoying my me time and I get quite few feedback that they rather sleep and their me time is with their family. Mula-mula tu rasa macam teruk jugak la, rasa macam selfish sangat. Ye la, staying up late means bangun pagi nanti penat skit la tak berapa nak cergas sangat untuk layan Hanan n Mr kimi. Tapi bila tengok balik yang says they rather sleep is usually a working mom. They went out, met other people, do nothing related to their house during the day and doesn't have to listen to their kids whining the whole day. They are tired and the first thing want to do bila balik is be with their family. So I guess keperluan setiap orang berbeza so memang tak boleh judge.
Bila sebut pasal me time memang kita selalu akan terfikir tentang enjoying coffee alone, tengok movie or read books or going shopping, means something foya-foya to have fun je. Yes very true, seronoknya dapat buat semua tu bila me-time (dapat makan tanpa gangguan is nikmat, window shopping is like a therapy..hehe) tapi for me, me time is much more than that. I need that time alone untuk perbaiki amal ibadat, tahu je la siang-siang hari solat cepat je, nak ambil wudhuk pon ad penunggu, time solat Ada je yang tarik-tarik telekung, kalau Hanan senyap je time solat lagi la risau asyik dok fikir ap dia tengah buat 😅.Dan of course to do many-many things dalam usaha untuk perbaiki diri contoh macam dapat jahit, baca buku, listen to tazkirah, plan for hanan's activities, read al-quran....
Memang rasa ada perubahan skit bila dapat ber me-time. Rasa lebih gembira n tenang walaupon still struggling setiap hari to be a better mom.. I always believe that happy mom will lead to a Happy family, insyaAllah.
Ok penat dah Mrs Kimi rant. Setelah sekian lama post ni tak berkesudahan..hehe
Whatsoever, moga Allah mudahkan semua urusan for me and other moms to be a much better person to our family,insyaAllah.
Till then,
May Allah Bless
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